Change

Today I am grateful for change. 

The only constant in our lives is change, and the way we adapt to change is what forces us to grow. 

To become better.  Hopefully, anyway.

I am grateful for the opportunity God gives us on a daily basis to change ourselves.

It's so hard, but little by little, I can do it.

I am grateful for Mike's new job which will force us to change our city, our apartment, our life.

I am grateful for my daughter and son who change and grow and learn on a daily basis, and in doing so, force me to change and grow and learn. 

I give thanks for good changes in my life.

More Gratitude

July was the last time I posted anything on this blog.......... and even then, it was a silly open letters project. 

I'll continue that later. 

 I think it's fun. 

 Sue me.

Anyway, it's November.

A month where we count our blessings.

Name them one by one. 

I'm starting a few days late, but better late than never, I always say. 

In fact, I live my life that way.

AAAAAAAAAAAnyway, I'm hopefully going to write lots more this month.  Probably won't be every day, but I need to remember why I started this 'lil blog in the first place.  

My blessings are many, my problems are few.

So- today I'm grateful for my family. (Duh! Did you honestly think I'd say anything else?)  But really, Mike and my babies are my whole life.  

No matter what happens, I get to be with them for forever, and that is a good feeling. 

  I'm grateful that they make me smile. 

I'm grateful that they challenge me, even though I hate it sometimes.

 I'm grateful that they stick with me, even when I suck at life (which is often). 

They are the best. 

And they are mine.

And I love them times a million.  and a trillion.  and a kajillion and one.

An open letter to my best friend

I think I kinda have lots of best friends.  When I was little I really really wanted one true "best" friend who thought I was her best friend too.  And we could buy a plastic heart shaped necklace that split into two pieces and one girl could have "best" and the other got "friend".... or BE, FRI and ST, ENDS..... Anyway, the closest thing I got was in 2nd grade when I became really good friends with a girl in my class named Brittney.  She and I had the same coat with fur on the hood, except hers was light blue and mine was pink.  Then 3rd grade came and we grew apart.  Then I got older and had lots of other friends, but nobody to call my best friend.  But then I met my future hubbs, and my life got better than it was before. So, even though it's cheesy, here goes:

Mike,
Thanks for being my best friend.  You are the one I want to spend all my free time with.  You're the one I laugh the most with.  You me for who I am and loves me for my flaws.  I'd rather hang out and talk with you than anyone.  And, even if we're doing nothing, it's still fun. 
Remember that time we had a baby girl?  That was super cool.  And the time we had a baby boy?  Also super cool. 
I'm glad that you're you and that we get to be besties. 
Much love,
Wendell

The Open Letters Project

Tomorrow I begin my open letters for 30 days.  Hopefully it will help me focus and set my sights on what is truly important. 

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush-

Day 3 — Your parents-

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)-

Day 5 — A celebrity-

Day 6 — A stranger-

Day 7 — An Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush-

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend-

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet-

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to-


Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to-

Day 12 — A person who helped you develop professionally-


Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you-

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from-

Day 15 — Your child or possible future child-

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state-

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood-


Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be-

Day 19 — Someone that you think about a lot—good or bad-


Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest-


Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression-


Day 22 — Someone you want to think you're awesome-


Day 23 — The last person you kissed-


Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory-

Day 25 — The person you'd like to see right now-

Day 26 — A person you want to be there for-

Day 27 — A person who changed your life for the better-


Day 28 — Someone that changed your life-

Day 29 — The person whose art has most touched you-


Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror-

Grateful for Unemployment

I'll be honest, I have had a hard time being grateful lately. 

 Mike lost his job on the 8th of June, and since then I've had the up and down moods that come with not knowing exactly what your future will bring financially.  Some days are diamond - some days are stone, I guess.  But lately I've been recognizing so many blessings that I have been forced to turn off my bad mood and be thankful. 

This is the most over-used line in all of mormon-dom, but we really have experienced the "tender mercies" of the Lord through this whole ordeal. 

I need to list them.

 I need to remember them. 

 I need to take them in and acknowledge how good our life is.

1. About 2 months before Mike got laid off, his company lost two of thier biggest clients and Mike realized that since they were losing so much revenue in the audit department, he was potentially on the chopping block.  We talked a little bit about what we would do if Mike actually lost his job.  We sorta made a plan, not ever once thinking it would actually happen.  

I think it helped prepare me emotionally, if nothing else. 

When it happened I was still shocked and didn't have a clue how to implement the tiny plan we had talked about, but at least we had talked.  So grateful for that.   

2.  We didn't buy a house last October.  ......need I say more? We had one picked out, preliminary papers signed and we decided it was a no go.   HUGE blessing not to have to worry about a mortgage right now. 

3.  We had a baby BEFORE the insurance ran out.  

4.  Mike only has 6 months of his MBA left, rather than 1 1/2 years. Mike chose to double up his classes and speed through before he even started. Yay. Only 6 more months until we can apply for jobs OUTSIDE of Utah (as well as in).

5.  We had some savings.  Not much, but enough.  And ps- we NEVER save....... except the few months before Mike was laid off. 

6.  We have two healthy, amazing, beautiful, bright, fun kids.  Believe me, I know that losing a job is NOT the worst thing that could happen.  

7.   Mike and I are still madly in love.

I'll most likely keep adding to this list as I remember things and editing this post, but for now, 7 is my lucky number.  And I feel lucky.

  

Inspiration

Today I was inspired by this youtube clip of the canadian tenors (the video was put together (obviously) by a canadian patriot organization, but don't worry, I still love the good 'ole U.S. of A.

Here's some of the words which seriously struck a chord with me

where there is hatred, let me bring love

where there is doubt, let me bring faith

where there is falsehood, let me bring truth

where there is pain, I'll comfort you

where there is silence, let me sing grace

where there's despair, let me bring hope

where there is blindness, let me bring sight

where there is darkeness, let me bring light

And with these words I speak

grant that I may not seek to be heard, but to hear

        to be consoled, but to console

not to be seen, but to see

        to be loved, but to love

though when we give love, we will recieve

when we forgive love, we'll find reprieve

it is in dying, we'll be released

make me an instrument of peace

This is really all I want for my life.  Even if it's a small contribution, I hope that I can lift, help, love, and serve.  I have so far to go before I am who I want to be. 

Grateful for sources of inspiration. 

Here's a few of my favorites:

Last Lecture- short version

Create

Helping Hands

We were not meant to walk through this life alone. 

God designed friendships and families to keep us connected, and we are better because of it. 

Sometimes I have a hard time recieving help. 

 I like to be the helper, but I get prideful and don't want to ask for help,  or take it when it's offered. 

But, when you have a baby the truth is- you need lots of it.

Today I'm grateful for help. 

I hope I can give back a tiny bit of what I've recieved in the years to come.

Thankful for my hubbs.  He has put up with A LOT of mood swings throughout my pregnancy, he supported me through labor and delivery, and he continues to be loving throughout the postpardum hormone extravaganza.  Love him for it.  This was the last picture of us as a family of 3- just before I went to the hospital. 

So grateful that my mom could come all the way from MT to help me for a week.  Cecily couldn't have asked for a better playmate, and I couldn't have asked for a better mom.  So giving and loving and helpful.  This is grandkid #21 for her- and she is as excited about him as she was about #1.  (and thanks to my daddy for letting her come and missing her for a whole week)

Thankful for the nurses and staff at LDS hospital.  Wierd that I don't know any of them personally, but I shared a really personal part of my life with them.  Speaking from my experience with Cecily (not as great) it really makes a TON of difference to have a supportive medical team who listens to you and doesn't make you feel like you don't know what's going on with your own body.  The whole staff was fab.  Loved it. 

I don't have any pictures............

but I'm also grateful for the meals, the phonecalls and the love and prayers from neighbors, relatives, friends, ward members, and loved ones.

Sometimes it's ok to accept help and give up the "I can do it myself" mentality.  It has blessed me over the past week, and hopefully I am a bit more humble and grateful in the future.

 

2009

I am grateful for 2009.  Here are some of the reasons:

I got pregnant in 2009.  Anyone who says that creating life isn't a miracle is seriously crazy (or sadly misinformed).  I am grateful that I've been given this beautiful experience.

I watched Cecily grow and learn a million new things.  She can identify all her letters, she's working on her numbers, she loves to sing and dance, she is full of energy, and tons of fun to be around. 

2009 moved us to Utah, and I am grateful for the new friends and experiences we've had here. 

2009 was full of fun experiences, and not too many sad ones. 

I am excited for 2010 and the good things it will bring.  A baby boy, a completed MBA degree, and more fun.